Who is this woman in these photos??? If me from 5 years ago saw these photos, she would be in disbelief. Me from 5 years ago was uncomfortable in her own skin, shy, and did not really love herself. She was anxious all the time and was consumed with fear and negative thoughts. She had poor boundaries and thought she was weak. She judged others harshly as she judged herself harshly.
Yet today I love myself, I have healed my chronic anxiety disorder, overcome past trauma, and I live in joy and empowerment. I got these photos taken last month and the camera is showing the real me for the first time. How did I get here?
5 years ago, I went to a potluck. A woman sat across from me, and I knew there was something different about her. She started talking about magick like it was real. Energy healing, shamanic work, the lineage of King Salomon, how she’d overcome mental illness and now helps others do the same. With magick.
Part of me wanted to look around and see if I was getting punked. Cause I’d never heard anyone talk about this kind of thing, and certainly not as an opener! And yet, I was absolutely fascinated by this woman. Many of the words she was saying were unfamiliar, but the energy behind it hit me at the soul level. I knew she was telling the truth. And I knew I needed to know her. That woman is my guide in The Modern Mystery School and my dear friend, Karla Clark.
The first class I ever took with Karla is Sacred Geometry 1. I had a profound experience in that class that I could not explain. My psychic senses were going crazy! I was feeling things, seeing things and my rational mind was like. How??? All I’m doing is staring at a piece of paper in the shape of a triangle. Does not compute! And yet, I was so intrigued! I want to know more!
After that, I took a bunch of classes with Karla (anything she offered, I was there!) and I received my Life Activation. My perspective started shifting. My anxiety was still there, but I felt a stronger new voice coming in that was making more sense. My higher self. She had positive things to say and was never afraid. Hmm, this is different. This feels better, I thought.
Then I decided to become an initiate in the lineage of King Salomon by attending Empower Thyself & Initiation. It is a two-day, intense weekend filled with sacred metaphysical teachings. You learn rituals and meditations that you can use every day for empowerment, manifestation, wisdom, and energetic protection. The end is a formal initiation ceremony and transfer of power through the sword (like a knighting). At this point, it was not faith that pulled me forward on the path. It was curiosity. So I was completely unprepared for what happened next.
While I was being initiated by Karla, I heard angels singing. Literally. It was in a language I could not understand. But it was absolutely beautiful. I looked around to see if I was imagining it, because it seemed so fantastical. But there was no explanation for this sound other than it was supernatural. I asked other people afterwards if they heard it. No one heard it except for me & Karla, though there were others in the room. My God! I was starting to believe it.
And if that sounds incredible, you won’t believe what happened next. After a few days, I said to myself, wait a minute. I don’t have anxiety. And I haven’t had it since initiation. What is going on? That negative voice in my head that always told me to be afraid? Gone. That feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach that followed me everywhere? Gone. It was replaced by peace. Silence.
I waited months to finally call my psychiatrist and say, “I don’t think I need my anxiety medication anymore. How do I wean myself off?” It took months simply because I kept thinking it was going to come back. I mean, how could many years of therapy not have fixed me, but my friend Karla initiating me fixed it overnight? But I finally gave in and accepted the miracle. To this day (almost 4 years later), I am anxiety disorder free. Since then, I’ve experienced dozens of miracles just as amazing as this on this path. But I’ll save those for another time.
Since then, I’ve realized that my purpose is to help others find this path so that they can heal! That is why I’ve continued my training to become a Life Activation practitioner, Healer, and Ritual Master in this lineage. And why I feel called to continue as a Teacher in June. And why I aspire to be a Guide who can initiate others as Karla initiated me. I continue because it works!
Even at the worst of times in my life, I have never been called dumb or foolish. Anyone who knows me knows that I am analytical, rational, and practical. I only want things that work. And things that work repeatedly. That is what I have found with this lineage. Real, repeatable results. Every other initiate I know who’s applied the tools has become a much better version of themselves.
Day 1 in this school you are told you are a divine being. And they keep telling you over and over again, until one day you finally believe it. They tell you that you have a unique and beautiful expression as that divine being. They tell you that you have a purpose that no one else can fulfill on this planet. They do not tell you have to believe certain things (dogma). They show you how to become. How to become who you really are and let go of the rest. They help you heal the traumas, let go of the masks, rid yourself of projections, tear down walls… anything that is getting in the way of your true expression and your true purpose.
So after four years of being an initiate and really dedicating myself to this work, this is who I am. I am a goddess. I am a healer. I am a divine being. I am unlike anyone else on this planet, and I do not want to be anyone else! I want to be me! I love me!
When I saw these photos, I literally cried tears of joy. It was the first time I really saw myself reflected back to myself as a divine being. I finally saw on the outside what I’ve been working so hard to reveal on the inside. Once you REALLY know yourself, no one can take that away from you! And if you really know yourself, and really believe in yourself, you know it’s your responsibility to be authentic, and to share that with the world!
I have the utmost respect and gratitude for our lineage holders, the council of 12 goddesses, my teachers, my guide Karla, my fellow students, and every person in the Modern Mystery School who has helped me get to here. I am truly humbled to be alongside you, working towards this great mission of shambalah (world peace, heaven on Earth). Thank you for all you do and have done. It is a miracle that we met, and an honor to know you.